After I had eaten the small portion which sufficed to fill my stomach halfway, Brother David casually mentioned his belief that it was an offense against God to leave food uneaten on the table. This was particularly the case when such a great restaurant had so clearly been placed in our path as a special grace. David was a slim man and a monk, so I found it hardly credible that he followed this precept generally. But he continued to eat so much that I felt good manners, if not actual spiritual guidance, required me to imitate his example. I filled my belly for the first time in a year.
Mixed feelings. On the one hand, my first reaction was with Barbara at #14. On the other, it takes a strong person – and one with a lot of love – to do what’s honestly best for the child. I feel strongly this is what Anita has done; to keep trying, especially when there was another option with a willing adoptive family that had the skills to care for this boy, would have been at bottom an issue of the mother’s guilt and ego – “I can do this!” – rather than what was best for the child. I hope that when Anita is ready, the new adoptive family updates her on his progress, in part because I’m sure she will always want to know, and in part because it will help her to ease her mind and reassure her that she did the right thing.
Cats start with low level “leaving behaviors” and increase the distance and the length of time of leaving until at the extreme they simply move out. First they walk 3 steps away. If that doesn’t work, they walk across the room. If that doesn’t work, they go under a chair or out of reach somewhere. If that doesn’t work, they leave the room. If that doesn’t work they leave the house. At each level they also use “how long” they leave. I mean they walk three steps away and then come back in a minute, or 5 minutes, or an hour, etc. The highest expression of anger is that of moving out of the house, permanently.