Levinson interpretation of the era 22-25, which he labels as Entering the adult world. In this era according to Levinson, people create a first major life structure, and attempt to pursue a dream. During this time in my life, I decided to move out on my own, which was my first major life structure. My life had defiantly changed from living with my mother. I had greater responsibilities, I had to take on full responsibly of the decisions I made. If something was not paid on time, it was all my problem not my parents, my life structure had changed completely. I also became involved in a relationship that I planned would result in marriage. I was pursuing the dream of having a family of my own. This is also something Levinson mentions during this period of life, people pursuing a dream. Within each era, Levinson
Brainstoming is the process of suggesting many possible alternatives without alternatives. Synectics is the process of generating novel alternative through role playing and fantasizing. Nominal grouping is the proces of generating of generating and evaluating alternatives using a structured voting method. This proces usually invloves six steps: listing, recording, clarification, ranking, discussion and voting. Consensus mapping is the process of developing group agreement on a solution to a prblem. The Delphi technique involves using a series of confidential questionnaires to refine a solution. [Robert N. Lussier (2006)] Personal decision making: Imagine you were a manager at, GM, a local movie theater or the public library.
I have/am dealing with the same problem. It’s been almost 2 years now since my fiance left me suddenly for another woman and married her within a few months. The thoughts/feelings still come up every day many times. It’s feelings of longing, missing, “what if”, anger, etc. I now know I could not have done better than I did at the time, yet I blame myself for failing so miserably, eventhough I didn’t do anything wrong. I have come to realize the problem was not me, but he was a serial cheater. I am angry at myself most of the time for not being what exactly what he wanted, and on the other hand for ever falling in love with him. I went cold turkey over a year ago with absolutely no contact on my part. I changed my phone number, disappeared from the web, and vowed NEVER to answer if he would email. I did not believe he would ever email, but he did after 6 months, and then again after 10 months of no contact on my part. The first time it was not much, the second time he told me that he thinks of me, misses me, and wonders how I am doing. I so very much would like to answer that email, but I’m afraid for him it’s nothing more than just “checking” on me or plain curiousity and not love or any intention to be back together????? It’s paralizing, so I keep sticking to my no contact rule, eventhough I want nothing more in this world than him back. Well, he is married, so what is the point of me even thinking of him. But I do every day. I can’t listen to the radio, I can’t watch movies. It all always reminds me of him. It’s a mess. On the other hand I am making new male friends to keep myself busy and distracted. But falling in love with someone new is still not working. But the new friends make me feel better about myself and I realize I’m not a failure. There are many guys out there who would give anything to be with me. But it’s like my heart is stuck in the past. I liked Canali’s way of putting it, there is “No Vacancy” in my heart, although it’s empty. I hope it’s just under re-construction and not destroyed forever. I relate to Canali. It sounds like we are in the same boat. It’s much anger at oneself for not being who my ex wanted/needed and for wasting my time/heart on him. And when he then contacts me saying that he thinks of me and wonders how I am doing, I have not a clue what he really is saying? Should I be polite and answer it, or just ignore it as I have been doing so far? Is he sorry for leaving? Does he want to come back? It’s just confusing and hurting. But I stay with no contact because I don’t know what else to do. And I try to keep busy with work and new friends, hoping that one day this ordeal will be over.